So I know 2020 was the worst year of all time for most people, but as a single gal in NYC I can’t deny one of the silver linings to come out of last year was the concept of virtual dates. Think of how much time, money, and how many outfits us girls wasted on dead end first dates. While I may be relatively new to the dating game, there are SO MANY obvious perks to vetting people via FaceTime… [hmm excuse to be lazy?]
There is no awkward moment looking for each other in the bar. We have all been there. You’re walking around the place, hoping you timed your arrival so that you would be second to get there, just to look each guy up and down hoping that the pictures on his profile weren’t from 2008.
No struggle of who is going to (or should) take the check. There is always a touchy back and forth when the waiter places that dreaded slip of paper on the table. Should you offer? Should you let him take it? How hard do you fight to split it? Do I really want him to know my venmo name? (Maybe that last one is just me…) [nope, I’m with you, don’t invite stalkers into your world… or bank account]
On that note, think of how much money you save from skipping the in person encounter. Bottle of wine on the couch? $11.99. Bottle of wine at that nice place in the West Village? $56.99. And my dad says I don’t know how to manage my money… [he’s probably confusing you and I on that]
Save your outfit for brunch with your BFF this Sunday. Best first reaction I’ve ever gotten from a Hinge guy on a virtual date: “why do you look so nice?” Forget the fact that this sounds like a nice insult, the point is, all I did was put on a hoodie and some mascara. Keep those expectations LOW, ladies. [honestly, mascara already seems like too much work for me]
Keep the anxiety away by not worrying how you are going to say goodbye. Is there going to be an awkward side hug? What about a real hug? How about if he tries to go in for that kiss (cue the masks)? All you gotta wait for is that *beep beep beep*.
Furthermore, no escape plan needed. Not going well? You always have the option to hang up, and if it was a real stinker, block that number. Now, I would always default to the polite excuse; “I have to go take my dog out” or “Oh no! Doorman is calling, got to – but sometimes you just got to rip off the band-aid. [wait… is talking to me like being on a bad date?]
Most importantly, you keep that mystery alive without seeming standoffish. Now, I’m pretty bad at playing the dating games – I respond right away, I am probably too honest for my own good, and I definitely am quick to make a decision if I’m into it or not. However, with a virtual date, I don’t give any of that away. You can’t read body language, you can turn the camera away, and you have control over the whole interaction.
Maybe I’m a control freak, maybe I’m too guarded, but there has to be someone else out there who can relate! Let us know – tell us all your best and worst virtual dating stories in the comments.
[reason 100 why I’m happy I found my husband in High School… this all sounds too stressful]